And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
Parents are famous for saying that they wish they could freeze frame a moment with their children to travel back to it again and again. Last night was a moment like that for me and Jack.
The kid wouldn't go to sleep. Sunday nights are always challenging since the day typically consists of no routine and no set schedule. We had two wonderful friends come to visit us which made Jack exceptionally excited and he ran around the house accordingly. So by the time bedtime came and went and he was having nothing to do with sleep I gave Trevor a break and went upstairs to pick up crying Jack from his crib and attempt to rock him to sleep.
With only the soft green light of a nightlight to illuminate our faces I held Jack in a rocking chair while I wiped the tears off of his cheek. We sat there slowly rocking cheek to cheek until his soft pudgy hands made their way around my neck and he turned and kissed me. I sang Bill Withers' "Lovely Day" and we rocked and rocked together.
It would be truly "lovely" if the story ended there.
It does not.
Jack began to squirm and squirm until I threw in the towel and took him downstairs. I gave him some dry cereal, but quickly realized that the change in scenery was perking up his energy again. So into our bedroom we went. Trevor was downstairs with Aunt Bean watching TV so Jack took Trevor's side of the bed and we just laid there together.
9pm on a Sunday night is quite possible the worst time of the week. 9pm on a Sunday is when you reflect on every piece of clothing that didn't get washed, the work you didn't get to and the dishes that didn't get put away and the fact that they will be waiting for you on Monday.
When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
But Jack doesn't understand the awfulness of Mondays yet. He just looked very content to be laying there next to me and so I allowed myself to be content too and not worry about everything that didn't get done. I turned the lights off and turned on my Nook to find Richard Scarry's "Colors" book. Now our faces were illuminated by Lowly Worm, Huckle Cat and Bananas Gorilla. His tiny finger pointed out the "app-ulls", "tucks", "cawrs", and "titties" (that's kitties, I promise you). After we had gone through every color from Red to White we shut off the book and laid there in the darkness.
And this time, the story ends there. Jack's hands found my face and just explored it for a minute until the rustling of his legs against the sheets slowed down and his breath steadied and he fell fast asleep. At some point I must have turned my back to him because the next thing I remember was the feeling of a little body spooning me. Trevor came up and after getting ready for bed himself, scooped him up and took him back upstairs.
There was nothing magical about last night, no earth-shattering revelations about my boy. There was just me and Jack holding space together for a little while in ways that won't always be possible for us. I do wish I could always remember the way his tiny hands feel and how soft his cheeks are. Even though I'm living those things right now, they can be easy to miss when focusing on his loud screams, how hard he can throw things when he's mad and how stubborn he can be. So I need to remember the lovely times too.
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
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